i guess after every happy moment there will be a lowest point.. and it has come. after camp, i feel like life is damn pathetic for me. its like, everyday i come home to stare at four walls. no one is at home.. if only camp could last forever.. its the time where i felt happy all the time, and i never thought of unhappy things.. im still thinking of camp.. cuz that's when i was the happiest..

it brought me away from the fakeness of this world.. and i started to look at others' strengths and believe that my teammates will treat me truthfully.. and it brought me out of darkness..

but now.. i guess everything goes back to normal.. i duno how to get back to normal life again.. and he worst is, i duno how im gona get back to normal school life when school starts.. surprisingly.. i've grown more attached to the track team.. and im seriously reconsidering if i reali shld quit.. track seems like a more real team to me, compared to me noral life.. im seriously looking forward to each track trng.. such a tremendous change.. but i guess it was kinda gradual.. after so much disappointment by stuff around.. i start to find alternatives as to find my true self..

in track, im relaxed, laughing, trng, and im myself. but besides that.. i feel that im on my on.. desperately trying to ask myself why am i doing things that are not me at all.. im tyring to detach myself from these things.. but i guess it would be hard.. after you noe that u trusted the wrong stuff.. and how cruel the truth actually is..

and today i got back my GPA. great disappointment..