其实，温老师说得对。一切还是顺其自然好。

today in class, wen lao shi said this. alot of things, you really cannot force. if u just let it be, it wld be better.. it took me so long to realise this, and this is exactly wat im going to do.

now, come to think of it.. so many things happened cuz i 顺其自然. going for talentime, track problems, solving them out.. making choices.. haix. i guess its time for me to go all the way back, and learn to let things just take its course.

heck heck heck. just let things go.船到桥头自然直. yay. haha

so i shant care so much anymore. back to life.

today went for tt gavel thing. haha. bx and i were like, really self entertaining. haha. then when gloria was doing prize presentation, we were waving like mad and making a fool out of ourselves. hehe. but it was fun. trng was gym. ahh. kena cheated by them again.they sae games in the end not games=/ boo.

thus, i decided tt i shall not believe them again. haha. yawn. getting sleepy. shall talk more tmr then=)

realise plenty of things happen by chance. like if fangyu had handed in our chem cd, then we wldn be able to spot the mistakes.. and if mich ahd came tt day, then no one wld've told us abt the mistakes in the cd.. now i understand wat is the meaning of 塞翁失马，焉之非福.

of cos there are times where good things happen, and u realise it is not tt good.. rather then always blame others for these "bad" things that follow, why not just accept them for who they are, and take this chance to realise their true personalities. realising it only now is not a bad thing. denying it is. haha another exmaple of the chinese proverb. mb i shld do this mre often=p

did nothing special over these 2 days.. just tt i did wat i shld do and let go of a huge stone in my heart=) thanks tk. oh we played a game after trng on monday. haha. quite funny. we stand in a circle, if we do smth we start all over again. sounds familiar? haha. its another of esther's games. her games always same pattern one. my parents wld like her. haha. cuz they say they dun like ppl who have "pattern多过badminton" -.-ll haha.

anyway, this game goes like this: u stand in a circle, you row call. isit this "row"? anyway. ya. so u call out a number at least once. cannot go in any particular sequence. then no discussion,and no 2 ppl can call the same no at the same time. wahh. it was rather funny, as ppl came up with tactics to avoid doing so. like if u step forward, haven sae anything, and someone else say alr, you can pretend to sneeze. or leg cramp. or cover ur mouth. hehe. a few ppl keep saying at the same time with the same person and it was rather hilarious.

during trng we did abit of circuits at first

CB:wat circuits?
thomas: DC circuit!=D

haha. it wasn dc circuit la. but i preferred circuit to second part. second part was the beep test. its to test ur aerobic level. and i hated it. really. u ran to and fro to and fro. quite sian, plus plus plus. oh man. there was 8 sets in 1 level. and by level 4, i was seriously having trouble breathing. its not tt i like it kay. but then again, i shall say. i have thalassaemia. its a genetic blood disorder where my blood just cannot take in enough oxygen. sickle cell la. okay, this is bio, but anyway. ya, so i really hate it whne im made to do long d in a certain time. i've told ppl sooo many times tt im like, quite sick of it. grrr. and its not nice being like, the only one not doing smth. arghh. it just feels super bad. like you wana eat, but got toothache, wana play and relax but got loads of hw not done. rawr. i hate my DNA>.<

after trng we did cheer, and they tried to sabo me into bring the center of the cheer. luckily thomas went in. why me?>.< always guy one lor. do i look like a guy to you?? no kay. even tho i might be abit violent sometimes. but hey, with ppl like CB and abel arnd, of cos need to be violent la=D

they sae tmr's trng is games. bleah. they always sae trng will be fun and in the end turns out sadistic. so i decided not to believe and expect the worse=)

and did i sae i hate A!!! "technical diffculties should be factored into the long semester i gave you for this" watever. im so gona curse her la. i bet like, 26 ppl are gg to do tt. in fact, we've always been doing so. &*^%%^&^ stupid A. %^$%^$@ cant stand you. *&&$@%# go away!! i bette not get her next year. if not, rawr. sure protest. stupid A. cannot say full name in case kena "higher authorities" come and invite me go for coffee. haha.

this week must be my bad kharma week la.

on thursday, i sang to the class for the first time and i was like, super scared. my heart was beating super fast and i just culdn calm myself down. din noe wat i was doing la. and i even stopped my song halfway. %$&^% then i managed to continue and poeple said it was quite nice. whew.

and i got judged at and condemmed TWICE. *&%^$ WAD THE. once again, i say. DO NOT JUDGE ME IF YOU DO NOT KNOW ME WELL ENOUGH.

b4 i say anything else, i just wana say that people around me, and who are my friends, will have hear me say thins b4. and i say it again.

Boy A is good looking. full stop. nothing else. oh. personality sucks. but really good looking. Boy B is good at music, thinking, sports, etc etc. Not bad looking. one day, both gets disfigured. i will continue to notice BoyB, cuz there's more to him than looks.as for Boy A, in the first place, if he's only good looking, than i can only LOOK right. its not called like. cuz if he gets disfigured i'l most prob not look.so wat if i only look? dun tell me there's this law that says GIRLS CANNOT LOOK AT CUTE GUYS. there's other people out there who has good looks. and PEOPLE WHO KNOW ME will noe tt im rather random and if i just see a good looking person, regardless of guy or girl, i will sae "hey tt girl is pretty/that guy is good looking"

note i oso say that girls are pretty. is there anythign wrong with appreciating people's looks? at least im not one who says "WAH LAO, THAT GIRL/GUY SO UGLY" isn this more SUPERFICIAL. i so wish you can see this. but apparently not poss.

once again, i will say, do not judge me. and it is terribly hurting to hear people judgin you. its THRICE in a row. and the last straw was saying it right in front of me. right in my face. i was soooo super pissed that i started blowing up. first time i did that over non-academics stuff. in the first place, i din start it. plus when someone insult you right in ur face, you will snap back right?

esp. when you got accused of smth you are not. i am not wat u said. i look beyond the surface. most people, who KNOW ME WELL, usually say i think too much rather than say i only look at the surface. aft so much i went through, i cant believe you said i was S**********. you never knew him. you never knew exactly wat happened. and u said those things w/o thinking abt how much it will hurt me.

yeah. so that's what i did. i snapped back. and i kinda expected a quarrel to take place. instead, i got an apology.... and nt only once, but twice. actually, more than that. so now im like thinking.. mb tt person din mean it.. just say it out w/o meaning to create so much impact. and.. i was thinking.. shld i apologise for snapping? argh. its making me feel so bad. rawr. i hate it!!! rawr. its like, it was quite offensive to me. but i still shld have kept my cool. argh. SHOULD I OR NOT?!?!

finally, where one day i dun have to go for any projectwork. although gloria is supposed to tell mi if im suposed to do bio with her. and i still feel super bad to xiao chen, for letting her do the editing of the LA advertisement. bleag. sorry sorry=/

ystd was colours award night.. oh and, speaking of colours, im super pissed off by SOMEBODY'S behaviour. this somebody, was soooo unreasonable and vented her/his anger on me la!!! just because people pissed him/her off earlier, doesnt mean can vent it on me right. plus i was being vey polite and respectful alr k. if not i wun ask this somebody in the first place la. and i was super condemmed.

"what reason is it sooo important?" yeah yeah. whatever. and i used to think you were nice. too bad. and this was enought to keep my whole face black for the whole of ystd.

math test was bad. i alr noe i have quite a few mistakes. oh man. i gota stop doing this. stop discussing the questions right after the test. so i wun have to go home with the "i alr noe i got a few qns wrong liao" feeling.

record bath time. 5 mins!! haha. and i felt super fast and efficient. of cos, i was clean too la. haha. then went to meet pei jia, and off we were to the civil service center. isit like his? haha. duno. saw the canoeist performing, haha. rather funny. and ours was quite funny too. and i saw one which i din want to see. but nvm.

the guys looked pretty formal, and stanley looks like a teacher! haha. rachel and charmaine were super pretty la!=) and the hockey girls' performance were quite.. hmm. ok la. ours was rather funny, but nobody really lauhed. except for when the monster came out. which was yujia. hehe. shooting's one was just 2 guys doing beatbox.. the singing was not very nice, but besides that, rather nice.. oh and, i was told, its Civil Servant Club, not civil sevice center. haha. then it was canoeing's performance. quite funny. hehe. the last performance was softball, and they sing super nicely!! wows. haha. quite nice=))

gloria said i looked decent. haha. does tt mean i dun look decent normally?!?! >.<

leme continue the list of ppl i wana thank=) many other ppl still remembered, like jing ying, jia ying, and choon boon. eh. actually CCB not really counted la, cuz is i tell him one. haha=p

and i just realised someone in track has only 2 words for his chinese name. and it sounds quite hilarious. hee hee. perhaps new generation parents should go for a name course entittled "what you shld not name ur child" like mr brown once said, if your surname is zeng, canoot name ur daughter monica. hmmm. monica zeng. sounds rather interesting. haha=D

yupp, anyway, finally handed in our chem,so no nid do any more editing. luckily=)

ystd i was at study session. i managed to finish my compre. super difficult la. then at first they having meeting they nv tell tse ruey and me!! soo embarrassing la. oh man. so we went off to another table.. and then benjamin came along and we tot he was gg to be super embarrassed. apparently he's a guy, so haha. not much embarrassement. then he was at another corner.

so after a while we decided to go join him. he was quite friendly la. and quite funny. haha. and tse ruey fell down at the exact same place where i fell! haha. tt time i fell during canoe camp, then i landed on my butt, and i really saw stars la. haha. but luckily i got hui jun to help. but both of us were laughing quite hard too.

speaking of hui jun, wonder if she's feeling better. today got alot of amy guy come and attend to her, cuz she donate blood alr nv eat, then she was feeling very dizzy and giddy. haha. but the moment the army guys come she smil smile liao=p and crystal and gloria were rather high today. hee. and i think mr brown is super funny!!

haha. before i go into topic, gota tok abt smth else.. sometimes.. its like, you're sooo sure that you're correct, then in the end turns out you're wrong... like dun feel good right. haha. but its ok, everyone can get a laugh out of it=) luckily no one's angry

i realised he takes KI. but ok, not very special... but the thing is that he actually ENJOYS KI.. oh gosh. if its normal anyone, i wld sae he;s a freak, but he's him. so i think he must be quite intellect. haha. hehe.

and he's sooo cool. i cant believe he's so good in music too! he's like, wah. multi talented. there are guys where u just like to look at their faces, cuz its nice to look=) but the moment they are disfigured(choi choi) haha, i think must change target liao=)

but this got so much talent, hehe. dun think need to change le.but heard ALOT of girls like him.

and all thanks to CCB, i made a fool out of myself. he caught me pointing at him. oh gosh oh gosh!! then he got tt smile on his face.argh. so embarrassed!!!

today was quite an exciting day for me. not tt the day was exciting, but tt i was very excited.. duno why oso. hehe. just was super duper high today=)

anyway, kudos to everyone who remembered!! you guys rock. so drum roll, im gona thank you all=)

shall name the top 5 wishers=p

1. Jing ren-thanks for tt cow and bracelet! and letting me noe how nice secret recipe's choc mud cake is=)

2. shirlyn-thanks for smsing me and remembering as early as one month b4=)

3. dave- thanks for remembering for sooo many years=)

4. raun-haha. great suggestion on onning skol, just tt im a guai kia=)

5. abel-a great "say now cuz ltr might forget" line. haha.=)

plus plus plus, sherm on friendster, every year without fail one testimonial will appear=) and wanqin and wanteng and kylie, peiying, jing han,meixuan, shufang, sharon and wang huan(great sms saving tactic=p) big thanks to shuya, wendy(even tho u sorta forgot=p), james, jessamin=)

thanks to my aunt for tt nice littel picture of a cake. hehe. and my bro for parting with his money=) and thanks mum and dad. you all are the best=)

and fangyu, for tt cute little file, and gloria, for tt "nice" card with those drawings. till now im still laughing=p and silvia for tt pretty photo frame!! Ly's hand made card, Jamie's cute card, the class's pencil case, and of cos, not forgetting BX's luncheon meat=)

and teck kuan's bluberry cheesecake!!! yum yum=D haha. food for a greedy pig like me=)

and last but not least, dillon, whom i tot forgot my bdae, but actually din=) he wanted to be the last, so he's kinda last=)

my mum's bdae is exactly one week b4 mine.. so we get to celebrate 2 birthdays i one month!=) haha. bought my mum some pratical presents this year that i noe she would get to use.. one's a clothes stand, a mug with a lid, and a pouch. she was quite happy when she saw it, and i was quite happy when i saw tt she was happy=D hee hee.

full of anticipation for my birthday.. finally 16, ppl can stop calling me an IP kid=D haha. and its just like a whole new beginning=) yey. im a mature young adult!! =) Life's so full of hope. =D

this week was rather fun. in a way that many many things, when you most dun expect it, it just comes..

like for monday.. i was still feeling fine on the bus to skol.. and suddenly, this huge stomachache came and i was forced to go home.. and aft that fangyu was also sick and had to go home.. hmm.. seem as everyone's falling sick all of a sudden=/

on tuesday, due to unforseen circumstances, i stayed upto 12am, which is the latest i have ever stayed on a skol day. slept rather well=) i nearly died during trng. so i decided from now on, my health shall come over "putting in my best" attitude=)

wed got pulled to study session.. cuz in the morn i heard someone saying "oei oei" so i turned arnd la. and i saw justin.. and he was saying very little ppl turning up for study session.. blah blah. and he somewhat persuaded me to go. this year's exco is more of the "pls pls, i will really appreciate it" ppl.. and rawr. sad to say this, but i fall for this kinda traps. if justion were to say "COME FOR THE SESSION LA." and ying ying lai, i will be super pissed and wun go.

but he din. he was the "pls dun let me be disappointed" kind. and i fell for it again=p so i went. for one hr only la. but i really realsie i cannot study in skol. even if must, must do work=/ and the study session was not very fulfiling.. just that when i left, justin called me to say bye. which i tink is quite rare for guys, cuz in the quiet lib, most wld wan to kip their image=p

but he just called out my name=) a very heartwarming feeling. which was quite nice.haha. b4 tt i was still thinking, haix, wasted an hr. then aft this i was thinking, mb this hr wasn so wasted la=) hehe.

and today there was the math test. quite ok i guess..tried to refrain from talking abt it so tt i wun hav to go home and say "i think i got one wrong le" haha. and i succeeded!! IH presentation was badddddd. we were all snatching to answer the qns, and i successfully managed to do so, but at the expense of others.. i feel i really shldnt have done it, bu i really duno wat i can do now.. sigh.

do miracles really happen?

so many projects to do. so many stuff to research on. so many different ppl's schedules have to meet. so many things to study. argh. so many things. so little time!!!

rawr! cant wait for hols to come. then again. i'll have to study for tests. i simply dun understand why do i have to spend almost 15% of my life studying. sick>.< just beacuse of someone who wanted to know more a few million years ago, we have to study so much. thanks ar. erm. whoever tt guy in history was=/ if i were born then i would have tried all ways and means to stop them=(

trng on friday was fun. im beginning to look forward to trngs=) games and chit chat sessions. its a form of recreation and leisure=) i realise i can actually kick a ball arnd=)

okayy. short post. gota go do my work le>.< tata!

haha. let me dedicate this part to guys.. well, since i found out that guys' character can change anytime, i guess i shld just stick to purely looks and capability, ability and talent. cuz these wun chance. for the time being=)

and that drummer just fits into all there!!!! oh man. he wun the special award in the international song writting competition!!! i think. im not sure of the exact name=) anyway. he's a great drummer. damn stylo. and his sports good oso.

and today, so qiao!! i saw him at jurong!! imagine!! even all the way at jurong oso can meet him!! isn it just so qiao. anyway. i kinda shrieked abit. and a guy arnd me heard. i dun really noe which guy isit, but all i noe is that in a plit second all the guys knew and they started teasing me>.< shucks. and one of them is in the same class as him!! oh no. shush.

nvm nvm. breathe in breathe out=D

Heys, its the time of the year again! its national day!! haha. and this means 3 days of holidays=) no skol!! oh yeah=D

This is one of my best national days ever, cuz this is the first time i spend national day with my cca ppl. at first i was quite sceptical as to whether it will be fun. and oh boy. am i sre glad that i decided to go.
IT WAS SUPER FUN!!

haha. first they wanted to go ice skating. and i din really wan to go cuz i was.. actually, i oso din noe why i din wan to go. just had the "sian" feeling. and then thanks to the 39th student coucil and their national day programme, i got super hyped out and got veri high when the programme ended. so i was in a rather crazy mood. haha.

Lets check the names off: Joceyln, Christine, Amanda, Justin, Gavin, Joe, Aravin, Joshua, Aaron, Dian Xiang, Choon Boon, Yu Jia, Tse Ruey, Sharon, Chang Xi, Denise. denise came for a little while la, not very long.. yupp..

wow. typing their names out makes it seem as alot of ppl went.. but actually like not alot la. anyway, ice ckating was fun. we got to see each other fall and such. and pull stunts, and see how ppl push all the blame to the little kiddies. Joceyln, me and dian xiang din fall. But dian xiang wanted me to fall, so he collaborated wit choon boon and in the end CB fell instead. wahaha. nearly cld'n control my laughter. hee hee.

Aaron did his "gg to fall down but came back up" stunts and gosh, he can sweat in an ice skating rink 0.0, while gavin actually fell, but claimed that "the kiddie thing la!" was the real reason he fell. dian xiang din fall, but he pushed several other ppl down, and these ppl were strangers>.< including a mum and her kid! and some of us. but he was quite pro at it even tho it was his first time.

And we managed to convince them to take neoprint!!! wahaha. i feel so proud of myself. hee hee. we had quite a fun time taking the pics, which made me woner why did we(tse ruey, justin and me) spend so much effort in convincing them>.< haha. but the worst thing was tt we chose the wrong layout and a giant pic came out wit 6 small tiny pics at the bottom!! oh man. we shld've just chosen a simple one. an i wonder if they will pay meback the 10 bucks>.< haha

anyway. thanks to all of you who made my day, esp those who stayed on for the neoprints=D hopefully we'll get to go on another outing soon=)) ooh. and justin's bdae is in 30 aug. he's an aug baby! i think i noe lotsa aug babies=)

i always thought, if you hold on to ur dreams and never give up, ur dream will come true.. but i have come to realise they dun..

i rmb being in pri sch, where my head of discipline taught me to lead.. from then on, i told myelf, i must be like her, cuz i have the ability to.. and so i went to my sec sch brimming with hope.. council was my goal.. but 1st yr came and went.. apparently the tcher din feel i was ready.. and the 2nd yr came.. i finally had a chance to do wad i want.. but becoz of Nj, i chose to give tt up..

perhaps this is the price i have to pay.. to give up such good chances to join a completely new sch.. i lost all my chances.. i failed in NJ council, in Nj track and field 2005, and Nj track and field 2006..

am i destined to fail my whole journey in NJ? am i not supposed to achieve anything? wad did i do wrong? or rather wa did i not do right? perhaps it was just everything..

wad im glad is that ppl still care.. thanks teck kuan, for sounding me out on the phone.. and thanks JR, for being so concerned over me.. and thanks Abel, for consoling me..

but nothing can hide how upset i was.. all i noe was i was hoping.. but they crashed.. i can say "im fine".. i must say "im fine".. cuz i dowan to appear weak to others.. but i cant lie to myself.. cuz the reaction when i was alone, is the truest..

and when the results were out.. it not only confirmed one thing.. it confirmed 2.. this year i fialed to achieve.. and at that second.. i gave up..

gave up on myself this y for track.. it will be soul but no heart.. cuz i need to mend it..

and also because i broke it.. by smashing it on the ground.. cuz i rather i smash it myself, then to ait for you to break it.. i've decided to let it go.. cuz i dowan to waste my time thinking abt things tt will nv happen..

"you're but a passing cloud in my life"...

argh.. its the time of the year again. and its elections.. i was super jumpy over the weekend, and ystd just when i was about to hand in the form, i realised i forgot to fill in smth. and the most impt thing somemore. THE POSITION(S).

haha. and they all laughed at me, sae why i nv fill in the impt one. but nyway. im running for secretary, treasurer and quartermaster.. but they said they will shortlist. so mb i end up running wit only one post. hehe. or non at all=p well. i sure hope that wun happen=) hopefully this year i'll be successful.. =D

and my speech is super short. i have nothing to say!! and do i say one speech for one post? or one speech for all? oh man. i only prepare one leh. how how how? i reali have nothing to say!!! do i say everything i said in the election paper???

argh. im still super jumpy. like "doingg doingg". haha. owells. ooh. i prepared lots and lotsa food!! =)) so that i wun end up like last year. oh man. dun remind me of last yr =( ok anyway. this year sure sure sure wun be like last yr!!! okay, anyway. tmr, here i come!

ohhhh. wait. b4 i go. i need to say. CAN THERE EVER BE A MORE IDIOTIC PERSON THAN ME?????? I APPEARED AT THE WRONG PLACE AT THE WRONG TIME!! i think he must have thought i was an idiot!!! and i din even keep my cool!! oh no oh no. there goes my prince charming!!