i dont know why my words are all highlighted in pink!! >.<

its been eons since i last updated. suddenly felt like writing something. and thats when i suddenly remembered i had a blog. im not even supposed to be typing anyway. IM SUPPOSED TO BE WRITING MY ESSAY!!!

nevermind. shall just vent my frustrations first. Guys often say girls are hard to understand, but i think guys themselves are harder to comprehend. some of them.

I dont understand what i did to offend him. Perhaps i did smth without realising it. But sometimes he's so nice and sometimes he's so hostile. I get the feeling im not worthy enough to be his friend. I only talk to him when he starts talking. it wasnt like this last time. we used to be able to talk about anything under the sun. and then sometimes he just shoots me down. i dont like the way things are becoming. yet i dont know how to make it better. and i guess im leaving it as it is.

its so ironic how a few months ago, i thought my life was perfect. i had great friends to study with, a nice and cosy family and im doing what i like. but reality sets in, and i realise that because of one fren, i dont really dare to mingle so much with the others now cos im afraid i will offend him further. i dont like being alone, but i dont mind not having anyone around me.

i miss NJ. there were always ppl to talk cock with. here things are just slightly more complicated. im getting mroe and more frustrated as days go by. and sometimes i find myself wondering, what will happen next sem?

it seems there's no one i can relate to. i dont know if im being too sensitive, i cant tell ppl who's with me everyday cos i really dont want to create tensions. neither can i tell others cos they dont really get what im saying. and everyday i just think to myself. oh what a sucky life. can things possibly get any worse? and guess what? the answer is yes:(